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It Depends on WHOSE Hands it's in ! A basketball in my hands is worth about $19. A basketball in Michael Jordan's hands is worth about $33 million. It depends whose hands it's in ! A baseball in my hands is worth about $6. A baseball in Roger Clemens' hands is worth $475 million. It depends on whose hands it's in ! A tennis racket is useless in my hands. A tennis racket in Andre Agassi's hands is worth millions. It depends whose hands it's in ! A rod in my hands will keep away an angry dog. A rod in Moses' hands will part the mighty sea. It depends whose hands it's in ! A slingshot in my hands is a kid's toy. A slingshot in David's hand is a mighty weapon. It depends whose hands it's in ! Two fish and 5 loaves of bread in my hands ...
A date ! After 21 years of marriage, my wife wanted me to take another woman out to dinner and a movie. She said I love you but I know this other woman loves you and would love to spend some time with you. The other woman that my wife wanted me to visit was my MOTHER, who has been a widow for 19 years, but the demands of my work and my three children had made it possible to visit her only occasionally. That night I called to invite her to go out for dinner and a movie. "What's wrong, are you well," she asked? My mother is the type of woman who suspects that a late night call or a surprise invitation is a sign of bad news. "I thought that it would be pleasant to be with you...
Hi, 21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel. 20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health conscious. 19. Sprays duo such so that he doesn't need to take bath. 18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'. 17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi". says "Yogurt" instead says "Curds". Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi". Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate". Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit". Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway". Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go". Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead of Seven Zero Four) 16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every time he steps out. 15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts in Millions. (Not in Lakhs) 14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as ...
PRICELESS WORDS A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping. Love You!" Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks, "So, why is everything in or...
LETTER TO PRIME MINISTER Dear Mr. Prime minister I am a typical mouse from Mumbai. In the local train compartment which has capacity of 100 persons, I travel with 500 more mouse. Mouse at least squeak but we don't even do that. Today I heard your speech. In which you said 'NO BODY WOULD BE SPARED'. I would like to remind you that fourteen years has passed since serial bomb blast in Mumbai took place. Dawood was the main conspirator. Till today he is not caught. All our bolywood actors, our builders, our Gutka king meets him but your Government can not catch him. Reason is simple; all your ministers are hand in glove with him. If any attempt is made to catch him everybody will be exposed. Your statement 'NOBODY WOULD BE SPARED' is nothing but a cruel joke on this unfortunate people of India . Enough is enough. ...